And the IVF continues... this is a long one so hang in there!

  

Before I start talking about the next part of the IVF, I want to mention something I forgot in my last post. When we did all of the IVF meds in June/July and we were leading up to the retrieval, I also did accupuncture. It was offered by RMA and was covered by my insurance! They told me studies showed that doing the acupuncture with the treatments proved to make it more effective. Even if I didn't quite believe in it, I had to try everything possible! One other quick thing, before we had started the IVF procedure back in May, the Dr. had done something called a saline sonogram. This was to make sure everything was clear "up there" and there weren't any polyps or fibroids in my uterus so we would know the embryo had a great chance of attaching. Well guess what, I had a nice big polyp on my left side! They did another saline sonogram after the retrieval thinking it might clear up, but no. So on September 14th, I had a procedure done called a hysteroscopy. I had to be put under and took the day off from school. Honestly, at this point, I was so determined I would do anything and wasn't going to give up!



So here we were, the middle of August 2011, and my body was finally healing and I was feeling like myself again. I had lost some of the weight I had gained, we had 6 frozen babies waiting for us, and now we had to wait some more. Even though we consciously made the decision to wait on the transfer part of the IVF until October, I was having a hard time. I wanted to be pregnant NOW! In the meantime, before I went back to work, we went to San Francisco for my childhood friends' Liz Watson's wedding. We stayed for 5 days, went wine tasting in Sonoma and Napa Valley, and felt we really deserved this trip after all we went through and we did have a great time!

Once I started back at school, I was so busy again that I didn't think about it all the time. I had also started my new part-time job as a Cantor and was preparing for the High Holidays that started at the end of September, so needless to say I was preoccupied! It was nice once again to take a mental break from meds because there's only so much my body can take! So the way we figured it out, I wanted to be able to do the FET (frozen embryo transfer) the week after the last Jewish Holiday in the fall (sukkot), which would get us a mid summer baby, so that meant starting the meds again while I was doing the High Holidays. I was fine with this because it meant being able to do it soon! So September 28th, the 1st night of Rosh Hashanah, I started my 2 weeks of growth hormones. It almost felt like I never even had a break, but was strangely comforting because I knew we were getting closer to our goal. Then, a few days later I went off the BC pill! All I kept thinking to myself was "please let this be my last BC pill for a VERY long time!" Then on October 7th, the night of Yom Kippur, I started some more meds. I took this as a sign since Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the holiest Jewish holidays of the year. It HAD to be a sign, it WAS going to work! This time, it was a lot less shots and a lot more pills, but the side effects were still there. The goal now was to just grow my endomitrium lining to be nice and thick and ready for those babies to attach! So they monitored me but not nearly as often, which was nice. I went in about every 4 days and things were progressing nicely. We were aiming for a transfer date of October 25th, but just like the retrieval, it wasn't an exact science. This time, I would have to take off 2 days from work, the day of the procedure and the day after so I could be on bed rest to ensure it would work!

So a few days before the procedure, I started on progesterone suppositories and progesterone in oil shots. If I had to name the worst part, this would be it. This medicine was in oil so it took forever going in. One more thing, it had to be given in my upper butt muscle! I was terrified because this time, I had to let Ari give it to me since it's a little hard to spin the top half of my body around to see my butt! We were on an every other day thing where one day I did 3 suppositories, the next day I did one suppository with the shot. I was told that icing the area before hand would help so it would be numb and not hurt because I forgot to mention, the needle was an inch and a half long! Then I had to sit on a heating pad for about a half hour afterwards so the oil would absorb into the muscle better. I know what you're thinking at this point, you wouldn't go through all of this just for a baby. But trust me, if you wanted a baby that badly, you would! I never thought I could do it either, but I became the strongest person ever and infertility has changed who I am for the better!

So the day of the transfer arrived, October 25th. I was more than ready and I had such strong faith that it was going to work. Like the Dr. had said when we first met, he didn't see a reason for it not to work. I was hopeful but also holding back because if it didn't work, I didn't want to fall apart. So we didn't have to go in until 1 in the afternoon. I got to relax in the morning and get my head where it needed to be. We went in and I got an acupuncture treatment first, then the whole procedure took not even 15 minutes! All that medicine and pain and tears for just 15 minutes to pop in 2 embryos... and now we wait. I was told to take it really easy and be on bed rest that day and the next day so I would have the best chances of it working. During my 2 week wait, which would be over November 4th, I was tormenting myself! Did it work? Did it fail? Was that a pregnancy symptom I felt? I wanted this more than anything I've ever wanted in my life and I was going to stop at nothing to get it! So a week went by and even though I knew it was WAY too early, I broke down and bought a pregnancy test. And my eyes couldn't believe it either.... it was faint, but it was POSITIVE!!

It was hard to believe, surreal even after all we went through! I had never seen a positive pregnancy test in my life! I called Ari immediately and he didn't believe it either. He wanted to wait until we got our blood test which wasn't for another 3 days. I knew it was real though. I went and bought 2 more tests and took one the next day, and another one the next day... all positive! I called the nurse and asked if I could come in for my blood test a day early because I got a positive test at home. She was so excited to hear that and said of course I could come in! So Thursday November 3rd, I went in for my blood test. They said I would get a call anytime after 11 am. I knew I would be teaching a class, but at exactly 11 on the dot, I saw my phone ring. At 11:25 when I was done teaching that class, I called back and got the best news of my life... I was really pregnant!! All of my dreams had finally come true!!! :) IT WORKED!!!

Let the IVF begin!

So here we were, ready to start the IVF in July 2011. We had made it through an entire year and were finally ready to get pregnant! I felt healthier in body, mind and spirit! Now, even though it was nice to take a year off from fertility meds, all of the worries about negative pregnancy tests, and constant Dr's visits, it didn't mean the pain went away. It was just as fresh as ever and maybe even worse because it felt like an open wound that just wouldn't close until we got pregnant. Every time I found out another friend was pregnant or went to a little kid birthday party, it was just another reminder. For example, a friend who's wedding we went to in 2009 had their baby in 2011, or a 2 year old birthday party of a kid who was conceived when we first started trying. Those kind of things stung because it reminded me of just how long we were going through everything. Even though we weren't technically "trying" for the entire year, we were still not pregnant and still didn't have a baby in our arms and were therefore still struggling.

So about 2 weeks before we were ready to start the IVF meds, a huge box showed up at our house. Some of it had to go right into the refrigerator and some had to stay out. Now when I tell you that I was overwhelmed when that medicine showed up on my doorstep, that's an understatement. It arrived in such a huge box, I couldn't believe it. The person from the pharmacy who had shipped it to me had warned me it might be overwhelming when I opened everything and she was right! It took every bone in my body not to break down and just push it aside. Even though I wanted to just put it away somewhere and deal with it later, I couldn't do that because we just spent $5000 out of pocket for all of these meds! You better believe I had to make sure everything was there! There were pills, bottles of powder, bottles of liquid diluent to mix into the powder, a follistim pen, syringes, needle tops, gauze pads, suppositories, bottles of progesterone in oil, and so much more. All I kept thinking as I was making sure everything was there was "all of this just to make a baby? Seriously??" It hurt my heart so much, but again, I had to put that behind me and push forward. We had agreed to go through this and I WAS going to go through it. I was not going to give up until I had a baby in my arms!

So the plan was: 2 weeks of just growth hormones, then start a shot called luveris, then add follistim and double the dosage of luveris, then about 5 days before we were ready for the retrieval, add an antibiotic to make sure I had no infections anywhere in my body. Once I had enough follicles and they were nice and big, I did the trigger shot called ovidrel and the night before the retrieval, I used a progesterone gel (you can use your imagination as to where it went). Sounds like a lot, right? Well it was! I was so thankful I wasn't working because man on man did all these meds make me feel like crap! Not only was I feeling all the side effects, but my poor belly felt like a pin cushion. I had so many bruises and was running out of space to put the shots. At one point, I did 3 shots in one night because I couldn't mix everything together. But the good news, I was responding beautifully! Right on schedule! My follicles were growing nice and big, and so many! So the day had finally arrived, we had to trigger for ovulation, and wouldn't you know it... the retrieval fell on my 31st birthday- July 30th. I was really sad about it at first, but I had to take it as a sign. We were going to be "creating" our babies on my birthday. It was meant to be!

So that morning, we woke up bright and early for the procedure. Happy Birthday to me, I get to be put under! It was a good thing... it was a GOOD thing... at least that's what I kept telling myself. Even as I'm writing this, I'm getting emotional all over again because so much lead up to this, and now we were finally here! I wanted as many follicles as possible because the more follicles there were, the more eggs there were, the more embryos there would be, the more tries we would have. But at what expense? Would I hyperstimulate again? Our Dr. seemed to think if it happened twice, it would happen again. At least I knew what to expect this time, right? So the procedure lasted no longer than 30 minutes and as I'm coming out of the anesthesia, the first thing I asked Ari was "how did your part go?" Why I was so concerned with him, I don't know! He just said, "it went fine and there were 17 follicles with 14 eggs!" No wonder I felt like my uterus was going to fall out the last couple of days. 14 eggs was definitely above average and we were very happy with that number. Now we had to wait and see how many fertilized, then how many were nice and strong to implant!

Before we did the retrieval, we had decided that we were going to wait on the second part, the transfer, until October. Since we knew I would hyperstimulate, we needed to give my body time to heal before getting pregnant. Also, we wanted to time it so we would have a summer baby because I'm a teacher and that worked the best. One last thing, I have a part-time job as a cantor in a synagogue and I didn't want to be pregnant during the High Holidays which happen in September/October, when I really needed to be in my best condition. It involves a lot of standing and singing and I didn't want to be feeling nauseous at all. So we were able to take out the eggs, create the embryos, then freeze them all. Then when we were ready for part 2, thaw those puppies out and pop them in! :)

So after the retrieval, I got to go home and rest. We had asked the nurse if she thought I would feel up to going out for my birthday that night and she said she thought I'd be feeling fine. As long as I rested for most of the day, it would be ok. So we went out for Hibachi and it was towards the end of the night that I wasn't feeling great. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like a balloon was being blown up in my stomach. I felt so bloated that I was having a hard time moving. I pushed through and was excited when we got our phone call from the lab to say that 12 out of our 14 eggs fertilized! Woohoo!!! Now we just had to wait a few more days to see how they progressed.

Me with my friend Naomi at dinner

As time went on, I felt worse and worse. Just 3 days after the retrieval, I gained about 5 pounds and couldn't even breathe. It got to the point that I had to sleep sitting up at night on the couch because the fluid built up so much in my belly. I called the Dr. to let them know how bad it got and they had me come in. At that point, she said it was mild OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). Mild?? It felt severe! She told me to go home and see if it got better, or worse. I called 2 days later because I couldn't breathe AT ALL and I had gained a total of 8 pounds, all in fluid. Imagine 8 pounds of fluid in your belly! I looked about 5 months pregnant and I wouldn't dare step foot out of my house. I went back in and this time, they decided to drain some fluid out. Yes I know, it sounds as horrible as it is. I was awake and they inserted a catheter and drained almost a liter of fluid out. It made me feel so much better! Still not great, but better. Now I just had to wait for my period to come to feel completely better.

In the meantime, we got daily calls about our embryos. 3 days after the transfer, we had 5 nice strong embryos, grade A, that were ready to freeze! They let the other 7 grow out to see if any others could be frozen. One more embryo proved itself and was frozen 2 days later, making it a blastocyst. So now we had 6 total embryos that were frozen waiting for us when we were ready in October 2011. Now it was up to me to heal, yet again, and get ready for the second part in just a few months!