Now onto the IVF... we were told in May of 2010 that we needed to move onto IVF. All I wanted to do was jump right in. I felt like I was running a marathon and couldn't stop! We finally figured out how to get me to ovulate and now we needed to seal the deal, medically that is, but we couldn't. We knew there was no way we could afford IVF and we didn't feel comfortable asking anyone to help us pay for it. It was about $20,000 per try in PA. That's insane! Just to make a baby!! We knew we needed to put the breaks on things and figure out what was next. When Ari got a job in CT in June, then I got one in July, then we found a great condo to rent just 10 miles from my job and 15 miles from his job, I knew it was the start of good things to come. It seemed like everything was just starting to fall into place and I felt hopeful. Now the hard part was the waiting. This time we weren't just waiting a few months, but a whole year!! How was I going to survive? All I wanted was a baby, but now I had to wait longer! I knew it was the best decision for us and it made sense, but it made my heart ache so much.
So I started my new job at the end of August and tried to focus on work instead of getting pregnant. It wasn't too difficult because I was very busy and it was actually REALLY nice not to think about fertility meds and just focus on me for once! I felt like I became a happy person again and wasn't as angry as I used to be. It didn't mean all the pain went away, but I was able to deal with it much better than before. In the meantime, I went back on the pill but this time, I was put on seasonique. This is the pill you take for 3 months on, 1 week off, instead of getting your period every month. The headaches would come back every time I got my period and I couldn't deal with it so I needed it to happen less often. It was just a reminder that my body had issues and I didn't want to deal with it!
So before we knew it, it was January of 2011 and we thought it was time to find a new RE (reproductive endocrinologist) so we could plan things out. We found a great RE right down the street from us called RMA, literally 1.5 miles away. So here we were, on January 14th exactly 8 years after we met, sitting in the Dr's office, telling him our entire story since January 2009. We told him about my pituitary gland, the clomid, the follistim, the IUI's... and his first comment was "well of course the clomid didn't work... you don't have a working pituitary gland so it wouldn't respond to that medicine." I can't even tell you how it felt to hear that, but I couldn't harp on it. It was in the past, it didn't matter. He agreed that we were great candidates for IVF and felt very confident it would work on the first try. He said that because my only issue was the ovulation and everything else seemed to be working properly, I had great chances. I was also on the lower end of the age range so he felt good! So we came up with a plan... as soon as the school year was over, it was go time. He told us that he wanted to include growth hormones in the process because that would stimulate my pituitary the same way it did when I was a kid. Then we would move onto the fertility meds which would lead up to the retrieval (removing all the eggs). Hearing that we needed to start with growth hormones struck a chord with me... it was hard for me to swallow. It brought me right back to being a kid. It took me a while to get over that part but I knew I had to. So we had a plan in place and it felt good! In the meantime, he wanted me to meet with the nutritionist to try and lose some weight, or at least start eating really healthy before getting pregnant. This clinic also offered weekly fertile yoga as well as support groups once a month, all free of charge! I felt like I hit the jackpot! I took advantage of everything they offered and I was glad I did. I also went to a therapist on my own to help deal with the previous disappointments we had been through and to get emotionally ready to go through more. I was so scared for the IVF mostly because I didn't know what I was going to do if it didn't work. I felt like we were now putting all of our eggs in one basket, no pun intended, and if it didn't work I'd be devastated. I couldn't imagine going through all that and having it not work. This was after all the mother-load, it was our last shot. If this didn't work, there was nothing left. But I just had to trust my body and trust that there was hope. So that's what I did! For the next 6 months, I got my mind and body in shape and by the time the school year was over, I was ready!! June 28th was the day we'd start the meds and I was more than ready, excited even!
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