Let the IVF begin!

So here we were, ready to start the IVF in July 2011. We had made it through an entire year and were finally ready to get pregnant! I felt healthier in body, mind and spirit! Now, even though it was nice to take a year off from fertility meds, all of the worries about negative pregnancy tests, and constant Dr's visits, it didn't mean the pain went away. It was just as fresh as ever and maybe even worse because it felt like an open wound that just wouldn't close until we got pregnant. Every time I found out another friend was pregnant or went to a little kid birthday party, it was just another reminder. For example, a friend who's wedding we went to in 2009 had their baby in 2011, or a 2 year old birthday party of a kid who was conceived when we first started trying. Those kind of things stung because it reminded me of just how long we were going through everything. Even though we weren't technically "trying" for the entire year, we were still not pregnant and still didn't have a baby in our arms and were therefore still struggling.

So about 2 weeks before we were ready to start the IVF meds, a huge box showed up at our house. Some of it had to go right into the refrigerator and some had to stay out. Now when I tell you that I was overwhelmed when that medicine showed up on my doorstep, that's an understatement. It arrived in such a huge box, I couldn't believe it. The person from the pharmacy who had shipped it to me had warned me it might be overwhelming when I opened everything and she was right! It took every bone in my body not to break down and just push it aside. Even though I wanted to just put it away somewhere and deal with it later, I couldn't do that because we just spent $5000 out of pocket for all of these meds! You better believe I had to make sure everything was there! There were pills, bottles of powder, bottles of liquid diluent to mix into the powder, a follistim pen, syringes, needle tops, gauze pads, suppositories, bottles of progesterone in oil, and so much more. All I kept thinking as I was making sure everything was there was "all of this just to make a baby? Seriously??" It hurt my heart so much, but again, I had to put that behind me and push forward. We had agreed to go through this and I WAS going to go through it. I was not going to give up until I had a baby in my arms!

So the plan was: 2 weeks of just growth hormones, then start a shot called luveris, then add follistim and double the dosage of luveris, then about 5 days before we were ready for the retrieval, add an antibiotic to make sure I had no infections anywhere in my body. Once I had enough follicles and they were nice and big, I did the trigger shot called ovidrel and the night before the retrieval, I used a progesterone gel (you can use your imagination as to where it went). Sounds like a lot, right? Well it was! I was so thankful I wasn't working because man on man did all these meds make me feel like crap! Not only was I feeling all the side effects, but my poor belly felt like a pin cushion. I had so many bruises and was running out of space to put the shots. At one point, I did 3 shots in one night because I couldn't mix everything together. But the good news, I was responding beautifully! Right on schedule! My follicles were growing nice and big, and so many! So the day had finally arrived, we had to trigger for ovulation, and wouldn't you know it... the retrieval fell on my 31st birthday- July 30th. I was really sad about it at first, but I had to take it as a sign. We were going to be "creating" our babies on my birthday. It was meant to be!

So that morning, we woke up bright and early for the procedure. Happy Birthday to me, I get to be put under! It was a good thing... it was a GOOD thing... at least that's what I kept telling myself. Even as I'm writing this, I'm getting emotional all over again because so much lead up to this, and now we were finally here! I wanted as many follicles as possible because the more follicles there were, the more eggs there were, the more embryos there would be, the more tries we would have. But at what expense? Would I hyperstimulate again? Our Dr. seemed to think if it happened twice, it would happen again. At least I knew what to expect this time, right? So the procedure lasted no longer than 30 minutes and as I'm coming out of the anesthesia, the first thing I asked Ari was "how did your part go?" Why I was so concerned with him, I don't know! He just said, "it went fine and there were 17 follicles with 14 eggs!" No wonder I felt like my uterus was going to fall out the last couple of days. 14 eggs was definitely above average and we were very happy with that number. Now we had to wait and see how many fertilized, then how many were nice and strong to implant!

Before we did the retrieval, we had decided that we were going to wait on the second part, the transfer, until October. Since we knew I would hyperstimulate, we needed to give my body time to heal before getting pregnant. Also, we wanted to time it so we would have a summer baby because I'm a teacher and that worked the best. One last thing, I have a part-time job as a cantor in a synagogue and I didn't want to be pregnant during the High Holidays which happen in September/October, when I really needed to be in my best condition. It involves a lot of standing and singing and I didn't want to be feeling nauseous at all. So we were able to take out the eggs, create the embryos, then freeze them all. Then when we were ready for part 2, thaw those puppies out and pop them in! :)

So after the retrieval, I got to go home and rest. We had asked the nurse if she thought I would feel up to going out for my birthday that night and she said she thought I'd be feeling fine. As long as I rested for most of the day, it would be ok. So we went out for Hibachi and it was towards the end of the night that I wasn't feeling great. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like a balloon was being blown up in my stomach. I felt so bloated that I was having a hard time moving. I pushed through and was excited when we got our phone call from the lab to say that 12 out of our 14 eggs fertilized! Woohoo!!! Now we just had to wait a few more days to see how they progressed.

Me with my friend Naomi at dinner

As time went on, I felt worse and worse. Just 3 days after the retrieval, I gained about 5 pounds and couldn't even breathe. It got to the point that I had to sleep sitting up at night on the couch because the fluid built up so much in my belly. I called the Dr. to let them know how bad it got and they had me come in. At that point, she said it was mild OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). Mild?? It felt severe! She told me to go home and see if it got better, or worse. I called 2 days later because I couldn't breathe AT ALL and I had gained a total of 8 pounds, all in fluid. Imagine 8 pounds of fluid in your belly! I looked about 5 months pregnant and I wouldn't dare step foot out of my house. I went back in and this time, they decided to drain some fluid out. Yes I know, it sounds as horrible as it is. I was awake and they inserted a catheter and drained almost a liter of fluid out. It made me feel so much better! Still not great, but better. Now I just had to wait for my period to come to feel completely better.

In the meantime, we got daily calls about our embryos. 3 days after the transfer, we had 5 nice strong embryos, grade A, that were ready to freeze! They let the other 7 grow out to see if any others could be frozen. One more embryo proved itself and was frozen 2 days later, making it a blastocyst. So now we had 6 total embryos that were frozen waiting for us when we were ready in October 2011. Now it was up to me to heal, yet again, and get ready for the second part in just a few months!