Slow and steady wins the race

Ding ding ding... round 2 has begun! So after our ordeal in October, we were more than happy to take a few months off. Being on 4 months straight of infertility drugs was A LOT on my body. Not only did I gain about 15 pounds, but I needed to give my mind a rest. It became so consuming that I needed the break to get back to "me." We told the Dr. we'd be back in a few months when we were ready and she suggested it might be good to try and drop a few of the pounds I had gained. I looked at her and said "I'm going to lose 15... ALL of them." She said that wasn't unnecessary and I didn't need to do that, but I was determined. So as soon as I was feeling all better, I went back to the gym. I hadn't been this determined to lose weight since losing 30 pounds for our wedding. I got high school thin for our wedding, and I had that determination back! I went back to my weight watchers regime and went to the gym or hopped on our treadmill at home at least 3 times a week. The weight began to melt off as well as the raw emotions I felt from the failures. As I entered the new year, I felt renewed, rejuvenated, and ready to start the fertility drugs again the next month. In the meantime, I had gone back on the birth control pill just so the headaches wouldn't come back and I could be "regular."

So in February of 2010, we went back to the Dr. on day 3 of my cycle in preparation for round 2. She noticed I lost the 15 pounds and was very proud of me! I felt so much better about myself than I had 3 months earlier and I was back in the ring with my gloves on ready to fight! She explained that we would have a different strategy for this month, which would be slow and steady. The last time with the follistim, she was so aggressive with the dosage because she just wanted me to ovulate and wasn't sure if I would. Now that she knew I COULD ovulate, she wanted to control it more so I wouldn't ovulate as much. She explained that she would be much more careful with the dosage and adjust it every two days depending on how I was responding. Sounded good to me! So we started at a lower dosage and I went in for my first visit, and NOTHING was happening! We're back here again?? So she upped the dosage just a little, I went in 2 days later and there was one measly little follicle developing. She explained that it was good, just what we wanted. She backed off the dosage again, but then 2 days later, it wasn't getting any bigger. So the trend continued, back and forth, slow and steady to make that one little follicle grow. If I remember correctly, that month I went in for 12 visits! 12 VISITS!! Towards the end, it was every day because like I said before, we needed that follicle exactly the right size. But finally by day 24 of my cycle, 10 days after last month, I was ready to trigger! This time, she recommended we do an artificial insemination (also known as an IUI). She said our chances would be that much better for getting pregnant. So after spending almost $2000 on the meds that month because we were on it for so long, what was another $500 for a procedure? I just kept thinking "$2500 to get us pregnant, just not fair!" One thing that helped me through that month was my little puppy. She's the most loving dog and knew I wasn't feeling well. She was always there to kiss me and make me feel better!



Another thing that really effected me that month was the side effects. I was on the shots for 21 days straight and I was really feeling every side effect. The only way I can describe it was that I felt crazy. I didn't feel like myself at all and I felt that at any moment I could cry, yell, laugh hysterically... I just felt like I was going nuts!

So on day 27 we triggered to make me ovulate and exactly 36 hours later, we went into the office for our IUI. The whole process was so surreal. The fact that we had now reached the point where we didn't even need to have sex to get pregnant was upsetting enough, but now it became a medical procedure. I had to put that out of my mind and push forward. So the IUI was done and now we wait. I was SO positive it would work. I had one nice big fat follicle and everything went smoothly, besides the fact that it took forever to get there. But no dice, we didn't even make it through the end of the 2 week wait because I got my period. Strike 2... game over! Surprisingly, even though I was devastated, the first thing I said when I got my period was, "let's go again." I was so determined and didn't want to give up and was ready to go again! Bring on round 3!